It is finished!

I’m not exactly sure when I broke a mirror, but I am hoping that after this weekend that life will be changing for the better. You see, I have finished my PhD in Counseling and Personnel services and graduated on Friday! And, it took me 7 years to complete the program!

My dissertation is dedicated to my children Victoria and Nicolas with the following words by Carl Jung “Nothing is a stronger influence psychologically on their environment, and especially on their children, than the unlived lives of the parents.” And while the process was very difficult for me and created some hardships for the family during the process, I know that ultimately this degree will benefit more than just me. I know it will have a strong influence on Tori and Nic.

You see, on the first day, of my first class, I was delighted to share that I was pregnant with my daughter Victoria. In fact, that class and the ladies that share the distinction “PhDiva” with me, saw the sonogram of Tori even before Slade! Then, last year Slade and I traveled to Russia and brought Nicolas home to our family. Tori and Nicolas truly are the bookends of my graduate career. Now, Tori will actually know a mommy who is not in school. And, If you want to know what a PhD looks like Tori is the physical representation of my 7 years in the program -- from conception to now!

Throughout my experience I really questioned whether or not I would actually be able to graduate. I juggled a full-time job and part-time student load. I have been in class and had to leave to take my sick daughter to the hospital. I have carried many incompletes that I was not sure that I would ever finish. I was devastated when I did not pass comprehensive exams the first time. Then, after writing a complete dissertation proposal, the Navy had decided to place a moratorium on all human-subjects research and it looked like I would not be able to propose my research anytime in the near future if I kept my subject. Starting over – even on a similar topic – was very difficult. It took a lot of motivation to make that switch.


If that wasn’t enough, on the day of my proposal we thought Slade had a heart-attack. And yet, I attended my proposal meeting. Then, just to top things off, I sustained 2nd degree burns on my right hand just weeks before I was to defend my the dissertation. It is amazing to me that I have persevered. Today, however, I am here to tell you “It is finished!”

Confessions of a 6 year old

Don't you just love the way kid's brains work? Here are a few recent out takes from conversations with Tori. . .

Tori: Mom, I can't wait to go to the "ho and tell."
Me: Are you having show and tell at school?
Tori: No, the "HO and TELL"
At this point, I'm puzzled.
Me: What's the "Ho and Tell"?
Tori: You know where the hot tub is. I'm going there with Marshall.
Me: Oh, you mean a hotel?
(Side note -- My family is coming to visit us in Maryland soon, and they will be staying at a hotel!)
Later, I just had to get Slade in on this one --- the ho and tell -- now just think about that for a moment -- I sure hope that no one will be "ho and tell" at the hotel :)! I had to ask Slade what he had been teaching our daughter!

Conversation #2 occurred at the dinner table. Sam (mid from the NA) was joining us for dinner.
Tori: Sam you are the first kid done.
Sam: I'm not a kid?
Tori: Well, you're not married.
At which point we all get a nice laugh.
Sam: What about the Pope?
Tori: Who?
I just love the fact that you are either a kid or married. I guess it does feel that way sometimes!

May Day

Did you know that May Day was actually the festival of Flora, the Roman Goddess of Flowers? This is one of the reasons that people adorn their houses with flowers on May Day. May Day is intended to mark the end of winter, and celebrate the coming of the new season.

Well, for me May Day will always be synonymous with the day that Nicolas became a US Citizen. I cannot forget the day that we landed in Atlanta after a longer than anticipated stay in Russia. We were exhausted but so glad to be back in the United States. If May Day was once the celebration of spring and a new season, I cannot think of a more fitting day to celebrate the new season in Nicolas' life by become a US Citizen -- pretty neat huh?

FROM 2008 TO 2009

Missing Blogger Found

After weeks of silence, the missing Wilson World blogger has been found. In a phenomenon that that has left authorities baffled, it appears that the blogger had been spending time with her family instead of posting to her blog. These pictures were captured of the blogger's activities during her absence. It appears that the blogger had many events to post about including her daughter's 6th birthday, Easter activities, and Potomac Cruise with friends. It was therefore surprising to find that the blogger had not posted about any of these happenings. Apparently, no one was hurt during the absence; in fact, the family reports that there was a lot of "fun" occurring. It has been reported that the blogger is begging for forgiveness from the courts and has entered a plea bargin with a suspended sentence for mandatory blogging

I dry!

Ah, the sweet sound of those two words. Those who have been with me in potty training he** know exactly what I mean. It has been 3 days and Nicolas has not had one accident. I must tell you this is one MAJOR accomplishment for my little dude. The last few days he has greated me at the door when I come home with the following. . .

hi mom
come on, come in
mom, I dry!

His sweet little way of letting me know that he went all day without an accident. We then spend a few minutes doing the happy dance. Nicolas jumps up and down; I clap and then we have a big hug. Now, maybe I am counting my chickens before they hatch but 3, count them 1-2-3 days -- I must be in heaven!

Meeting with Dr. Kauffman @ the Fragile X Clinic

This week we had an appointment with Dr. Kauffman at the Fragile X clinic at Kennedy Krieger. First, it is pretty amazing that we were able to schedule this appointment. When we received Nicolas' diagnosis last summer, I called the clinic, and they put us on the waiting list. The first available appointment was for the winter of 2010. That was 1 1/2 - 2 years from the time that I made the first contact to them. However, Dr. Davoli in the International Adoption Clinic was able to make a referral to the Fragile X clinic for a record review. I was a little neutral about the meeting at first because I felt like -- "what are we going to learn that we do not already know?". Well, I am very glad that we scheduled this appointment.

We met with Dr. Kauffman for about 2 hours to discuss the genetics of Fragile X, learning and behavior. He was very impressed with all the documentation that we already had for Nicolas. He started by asking us the reason the genetic testing was done. (The only way to receive a Fragile X diagnosis is through the genetic test). Our pediatrician had ordered the genetic test within a month of our arrival home from Russia. The main reason he ordered the test was because of the lack of medical background that we had received for Nicolas and his developmental delays. Our doctor had order the test to rule out anything else that might be happening when the Fragile X was discovered. What we learned from Dr. Kauffman was that as recently as last week, he and others with the national organization were meeting with Congress to try to impress the need for testing. Many more children may actually have Fragile X than those who have a diagnosis. I get a little chill just thinking about it -- we received our diagnosis within 60 days of having Nicolas home while many go untested, and our doctor had the wisdom to order the genetic test. If ever there was an example of God's hand working in my life it is this.

Dr. Kauffman was also very impressed by the Towson language study. It really helps to differentiate between the language deficiency of internationally adopted children and the deficiency that he is experiencing due to the Fragile X. If it were not for this blog and Eileen (thank you!), who let me know about the study at Towson University, we may not have such good diagnostic information. Dr. Glennen was able to work us into the study last year. They had already completed their spring intakes, but she was able to work us in before the summer break. This is another one of those instances when I know that God was in control.

The other great news is that Dr. Kauffman is going to begin the assessments to get Nicolas into the clinic. Normally, a two day assessment is conducted by a team of doctors. Scheduling is very difficult so they only schedule an assessment once a month. Since we are already patients at Kennedy Krieger, we will continue to work with them and begin to have individual assessments. So, instead of waiting until next winter, we will begin as early as late spring this year. Our first assessment will be with a behavioral psychologist. I am looking forward to this any suggestions that the doctor can provide us to help with Nicolas' tantrums.

He told us that Nicolas was a high functioning Fragile X. As testament to this we often have friends and even family who wonder if the test could have been wrong. Dr. Kauffman indicated that the test is certain but the fact that people think he is "normal" indicates that he is coping well. The further testing will give us information about anxiety and attention deficit which is common for those with Fragile X.

Finally, he gave us some very promising news. I am even a bit afraid to write it here because I am too scared to be optimistic. A drug used to treat Fragile X was approved for clinic trials which are underway (we knew about this). We were not sure what this meant but we thought that maybe by the time Nicolas was a pre-teen it might be available to us. What we learned from Dr. Kauffman was that the drug trials have been going very well. If they continue to progress, the drug might be available to Nicolas as early as 2 years from now! This drug will treat the disorder not just the symptoms. Very, very promising news for a child who is only 4!

If you pray for our family, thank God for these blessings. I know that he is alive and working in my life! And, continue to pray that we will have stamina for all the doctor's appointments we will experience this year. It does take its toll on me. And, pray that these drug trials continue to go well and the drug would become available to Nicolas.

New Do's

Tori and I sprung forward with a new look!

Snow Day!

The winter storm blew through our area yesterday. We got some nice powdery snow -- about 6". This is the type of winter weather that I can handle (forget the ice, yuck). Although I must admit that I am dreaming of green grass and 70 degree weather for March, our snow day was nonetheless fun. I slept in as long as the kids would allow which wasn't much later than normal, but we all ended up piled up in the bed for a bit. We all stayed in our jammies for quite a while after we decided to leave the bed. Then about mid-afternoon, me and the kids bundled up and headed for a nice incline at the neighbors house. I wonder what Nicolas thinks when he sees the snow. The first thing he said was "mess". The kids had a great time in the snow -- sledding down the hill and having snowball fights. Then another neighbor brought a snow tube out -- that was a blast. For next year, I really need to invest in snow suits, boots and waterproof gloves for the kids. We made due, but it was sure cold! I had to end the fun because my shoes were not built for the snow and not being a kid, I had all the cold and wet I could take for one day. When we came in for lunch, we warmed up with campbell's soup. It reminded me of the snowman commercial. I think we all felt like that snowman melting off the cold.

All Dressed Up

This one is for GranMolly -- I know you've been waiting on this pic!

10% Goal

I used to find myself just dreading stepping on the scale. I'm sure that just about every American female has had this feeling at one point or another. This past fall, my weight had gotten to the point that I either had to lose weight or buy new clothes. Slade voted against new clothes, so I joined WW.
Amazingly, the weight started coming off. Even during th holidays, I managed to lose a few more pounds. I must admit that from about December 24 - sometime in January, I kept saying, "I'll start again next week" -- too many parties, candies, chips around. Howver, I have been quite diligent again in the past few weeks. Tracking everything I eat and keeping a close eye on what I will and will not eat.
Now, I actually enjoy weighing-in just to see how much I have lost. And, the accountability is great for me because I would never do this at home! At home, there is no one there to tell me what I am thinking. When I weigh-in with someone else giving me the verdic, I feel the shame of "you didn't lose this week" or the elation of "wow, you lost another pound this week". It really does keep me motivated (sometimes it is the gains that motivate me more than the losses) .
On Wednesday, I weighed-in and reached my first goal 10%! I really wanted to lose the 10% before the end of my first WW session, and I just accomplished it. From October until now, I am about 15 lbs lighter. I have just a few more pounds to lose before I am at my ultimate weight, and I am psyched.
Now all I can say is watch out bikini -- I'm gonna be ready for you this summer!

New Tat

Forget the paperwork -- this makes it official!

Nicolas' First Birthday

Well it’s not really his 1st birthday but it is most likely his first birthday party. Nicolas turned the big 04 on Friday. Since Valentine’s Day was this weekend and a friend of his was also celebrating his birthday, it was cake, cake, cake all weekend.

On Friday, the fam went to Friendly’s for Nicolas favorite meal – hamburger and fries – and of course, ice cream! Saturday was Valentine’s Day so he got he got a present from Mom and Dad. On Sunday, a friend celebrated his birthday at a bowling alley. Nicolas just LOVES bowling. This was his second bowling party and he is such a hoot when he is bowling. Today, we had a big celebration for Nicolas. We spent the day with the Nelson’s at Port Discovery, had lunch at McDonald's because it is hamburger and fries, and ate cake and opened presents at home. No wonder I am so tired writing this! I leave you with the weekend in pictures. . .

Happy Birthday Nicolas!

Living Like No One Else

Today, I was walking though the grocery store with a calculator in my hand. This is something that I haven’t done for probably 15 years when Slade and I were first married. Back then, we were so poor that we didn’t have two nickels to rub together. The first time we sat down to create a budget, we found out very quickly that there wasn’t very much money coming in and that we would have to watch every penny. We set aside 20 dollars every two weeks for eating out which meant that we could eat at Taco Bell twice or we might be able to eat at a real restaurant if we pulled all the money for that meal.

Maybe it’s the economy, but recently, we have been having discussions about becoming dept free. Our adoption expenses and the extra time we spent in Russia left us with a pretty large credit card bill. In fact it was probably the most I have put on a credit card since we have been married. Now that I have finished the dissertation and will be graduating in May (for the last time :) ), my student loans will be coming due. We were successful at only using loans for my undergraduate education which means that those loans have been sitting for the past 10 or so years and someone out there is itching to finally get paid (there must be some loan officer somewhere wondering just how long you can stay in school ). Between credit cards and student loans, we have quite a bit to repay.

We are dedicated to paying off the credit card and the student loan as quickly as possible – within the next 18-24 months. Then, the only dept that we will have remaining is the house.
A funny side story – in the process of paying off credit card debt, I recently paid off one of our credit cards. I called the company to cancel the card. They were beside themselves and tried everything to have us keep the card. The customer service rep asked – what will you do if you have an emergency? My response – pay cash. I guess that really is a novel idea!

And, I guess that means that we really are dedicated to living like no one else so that . . . (well, if you don’t know how that sentence ends, you really need to ask me).

Tagged. . . What's on your bookshelf?

Wow, less than a week on Blogger and I’ve already been tagged by Shannon -- a blogger friend who adopted from Abakan too. A sort of chain letter for the blog world, I don’t always participate in these shenanigans. I must be in a good mood today and need a silly reason to blog, so here goes. . .

Here are the rules of the tag:
Grab the nearest book.
Open to page 56.
Find the fifth sentence.
Post the text of the next 2 to 5 sentences, along with these rules.
Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual book. Pick the CLOSEST!
Tag five (or more) other people to do the same!

Well, you asked for it. . .

Although Tinto focuses on the college attrition process, his model has been successfully employed to suit other student outcomes. Indeed, the underlying dynamic of Tinto's theory of departure -- student integration into the academic and social systems of an institution -- is similar to Astin's (1985) involvement and Pace's (1988) quality of effort, although the importance of the investment of physical and psychological energy postulated by Astin and Pace is only implied in Tinto's concept of integration. Tinto's comparatively more explicit theoretical to the study the college student change process and to administrators who seek to design academic and social programs and experiences intended to promote students' educational growth.

From: Pascarella & Terenzini (2005). What Matters In College.


Remember, my last post -- I just defended my dissertation, what book did you expect to be the closest book to me?

Since I've had such a long blog hiatus, I must say that I'm not sure that I have 5 others to tag and many of those that I read have already been tagged, so I will offer up three more victims to this game. . .

Jennifer
Karey
Carey (private)

Dr Wilson

The day has finally arrived. On Wednesday, I had my oral defense of my dissertation. Thus, the reason that I have not blogged for over a month. Just too much to accomplish in a few short weeks.
The meeting went well. I was a bit worried as it snowed and the area schools were delayed until 10am. However, everyone made it to the proposal meeting and after 1 1/2 hours of questioning, my chair emerged from the room and announced me -- Dr. Wilson!

OH, HAPPY DAY!

(Sorry no pics -- Slade was in charge of the camera again -- I got to remember not to do that!)

Political Debates

Are you watching? I have a few things to get off my chest and I know that I am getting old because of these comments:

First, Let me just say that when they host political debates on college campuses in the mid-west, those of us on the East coast are holding our eyes open with toothpicks in order to stay up. The debate started at 9 and was over at 11. I think I made it though the domestic policy issues and by then, well, I'd had enough. I had a choice to make -- another hour of this or my nice warm, cozy bed. I think you know what I chose.

Second, am I the only person in the world who hates the Town Hall format? Like I said, I must be a fuddy-duddy. Just stand behind a podium and talk to the American public. I think they were too busy wandering around the stage and not wanting to appear too stiff that they were just driving me CRAZY. Really, I do not want to see your back-side and the camera people had no idea where they would be going to next so we say their back-side almost as much as their front-side. It just appeared sloppy to me. Were they talking to the camera, the moderator, the audience. Tom Brokaw even had to ask them to move in order that he could read the teleprompter -- come-on now that is just sloppy.

What's up with the stop light? Is this not the craziest thing. I must be have a post-modern moment -- isn't it a bit ironic that there is the odd Stop light in the room that no one is paying any attention to -- that is except Tom. Not only do they not pay attention to the stop light at all, Tom even interrupts them and reprimands them for not "following the rules" -- are we in kindergarten? I guess I am too much of a "J" on the Myers-Briggs. I just want you to stop talking when its not your turn. Is it too much to ask you play nicely and talk when it's your turn. My goodness, I have to teach this conversational turn-taking to my 5 year old. I would have thought that two presidential candidates would have conquered this skill by now.

I must also mention that I am a terrible political pessimist. Really, I have no faith that either of these two POLITICIANS will be able to reform Washington, DC. How many times have we heard that? And all these great programs and no new spending and no new taxes -- sure I'll believe it when I see it.

Thursday has come and past and guess what -- another trip to the doctor. Honestly, I am going to schedule a standing appointment at the doctor's office for Nicolas. This time, he had a reaction to the antibiotics and ended up with a yeast infection. I knew that girls/women experienced this, but had no idea that boys might too. So, the doctor gave us yet another prescription and off we went. Nicolas is doing much better and I even think his ears/lungs are clearing up, but that will take another doctor's appointment to be for sure.


I never imagined how stressful our daily schedule could be with two children. On Thursday, Slade took Nicolas to the doctor because I had a 4-7 class. Tori also had ballet at 4:15 on Thursday. Nicolas had to get to his doctor's appointment and Tori wanted to go to the school for book night at 6:30. Is it really possible to get all of this done in a day? Obviously, my husband has skills that I never knew about because when I came in at 7:40, dinner was made, the kids had eaten, they both had taken their baths AND all of the above appointments/activities had been met! That is SuperDAD of the year worthy if you ask me -- oh, and now that I know about these super hero powers, I think he will have to use them more often.


Of course, I must also give a some credit here to the Nelson's (our neighbors). Tori has been walking home from school with Michael and David every day and staying with them until Dad gets home. And, they actually get the credit for getting Tori to book night at the school on Thursday. She has even gone to football games with them as Slade and I do our best to balance our schedules. Which comes to the fact that they are truly becoming the three musketeers. It won't be long before people start thinking that Beth has triplets!


So this week, they take a trip to Pet's Mart to pick up some dog food. Beth let's them pick out a special treat for the dogs, and each of them chooses and doggie treat. Tori picked out one that looked like a chocolate chip cookie (no surprises there). So all the kids were clear - these treats were for the dogs. That is until they are half way to the car and Tori has eaten half of the dog treat! Don't worry -- it wasn't harmful and a trip to the emergency room did not follow. I just had to laugh -- my daughter is so chocolate crazy that she is eating dog treats now!

Proposal Date

Ah, two sweet little words and yes, I have a proposal date my friends!

My proposal meeting will be schedule on Tuesday October 14. On this day I will surely need your prayers and prayers for all my committee members. My dissertation is on the influence of college experiences and leadership development on leadership self-efficacy for students who participate in military education programs. Boy is that a mouth full!
I have a few revisions to make to the proposal, and then I will send the proposal off to my committee for review.

This is the first of a three step process.

• First, I will meet with my committee at the proposal meeting. This meeting which is scheduled for 2-hours is an opportunity for the committee to ask me questions about the design and theoretical foundation for the study. Remember, I am just proposing the research. So, they will make recommendations in order to improve my study and approve my moving forward with the research.
• Second, I will conduct the research. I will be using data that was collected as a part of the Multi-Institutional Study for Leadership. Since the data has already been collected, it makes the dissertation a little smoother. I will be analyzing a subset of the data for my study. This will include writing chapter 4 & 5 of my dissertation.
• Third, I will schedule the dissertation defense with my committee. It is during this meeting that they will decide if I passed the dissertation. The defense is open so friends and colleagues are welcome to attend. My committee members will again ask me questions about the study and my findings. Hopefully -- I will have very good answers to their questions. If all goes well, I will be Dr. Wilson at the end of the defense!
  

Another Thursday, Another Drs Appointment

Well, it appears that Thursdays are going to be doctor appointment days in our house. This is mostly because our doctor has late hours on Thursdays, and it makes it a little easier for to get in for an appointment.

A few weeks ago, we took Nicolas in to see the doctor because he had been coughing quite a bit and also started pulling on his ear -- I just knew that he had an ear infection. Well, the outcome of our dr's appointment was that Nicolas in fact had an ear infection. We got an antibiotic and we were off.

This Thursday had been two weeks since that appointment. Nicolas had completed the antibiotics for the ear infection, and it wasn't but a few days and he started with the coughing again. So, back to the doctor we went. This time she wanted a chest x-ray. Nicolas still had his ear infection and the result of the chest x-ray revealed a little mucus in his lungs. So, we got another, stronger, antibiotic, and he also got a nebulizer so that we can give him breathing treatments. At first, he really hated the treatments. I think he was probably a little scared. but now that he has completed several, he is actually ready for it when it is time. I think that he knows that it makes him feel a little better, and I can tell that the nebulizer is helping with the coughing. I do hope that he begins to feel better, soon. It just kills me because he is so active and when he is not feeling well, you can just see the energy drain out of him.

If he is not showing much improvement by Tuesday, then we will probably be back at the doctor on Thursday. If not, another two weeks and back to the doctor. I do hope this round of medication takes care of all the ickys.

Gates v. GM

I received this message as one of the many e-mails that you find in your inbox everyday. However, because of my constant computer woes, I thought it was just hilarious. While I am sure the backdrop has little truth, the comparisons made are just striking and given the cost of gas it is even funnier. Well, you be the judge:

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers
have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill
Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and
stated,?"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release
stating:If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash........? Twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation' warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?' before deploying.?
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.